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Intermittent Monday Blues Syndrome

IMBS is an illness that affects many cyclists but curable

IMBS Intermittent Monday Blues Syndrome (IMBS) is an illness that countless cyclists suffer from all over the world. IMBS is characterized by a cyclist who feels totally depressed on Mondays after a totally awesome weekend on the bike. Typical profile of a cyclist with IMBS is an overly competitive type who is addicted to the adrenaline of racing. They are trying to constantly prove something on the bike even though nobody else cares. Many IMBS cyclists hold professional jobs that require hours of cubical time and often have to deal with office politics. IMBS starts with harmless fun disguised as "exercise", "team" or "friendly competition" on the weekend. Cyclists suffering from IMBS often don’t even realize they are sick.

The primary symptom of IMBS is a total lack of motivation off the bike. The productivity of their "day job" sinks to the lowest level possible by a living person. IMBS cyclists usually spend entire Monday at work daydreaming and surfing the same few websites repeatedly. Family life suffers with endless whining of "I hate my job, I should, could, would" stories. IMBS cyclists shop constantly on-line for expensive parts they don’t need and can’t afford. Even cycling suffers due to chronic overtraining and injury.

If gone untreated, IMBS patient can morph into a cycling junky with permanently warped sense of reality. Here are several known treatments for IMBS.

Self Induced Burnout
IMBS cyclists who are hooked on racing on the weekend should race even more. The idea is to inflict self induced burnout. There is nothing like a good crushing blow to the body and ego to help one appreciate their day job. Go to the hardest, longest, toughest race you can find and registering with the highest category you are eligible. Good candidates are multiday stage race with lots of professionals in the field with lots of climbs beyond your limits located in a super high altitude region. You should suffer to your max over and over again until you can’t stand the sight of your own bike. Burnout comes easier if you have to drive about 15 hours, blow bunch of money and maybe even deal with a car problem or two on the way. The idea is to satisfy your thirst for cycling to the maximum dosage until you look forward to the Mondays. This method will most likely "fix" your blues and make you happy to make a living sitting in a cushy chair.

Mental Pressure
You are getting older everyday and you live with 3 annoying roommates. And to top it off, nobody really likes you.
If physical beating doesn’t fix your blues, try mental. In this method, you pretend that the next race you enter is the most important race of your life. How well you do on this race defines who you are as a person. Everyone will judge you based on your result including yourself. In addition, add some financial pressure by pretending you are living with a mountain of debt and dead end career with immanent layoff. Imagine that your legs and the race winnings are all you have to live on. Your next rent depends on how much you can make at the races. If you don’t win enough money, you may have to give up the iPhone and eat Mac & Cheese all month. You are getting older everyday and you live with 3 annoying roommates. And to top it off, nobody really likes you. Now go to a race and line up. Keep the bleak outlook on your sad life at the forefront of your mind as you scout out the competition. Repeat this mental self torture for several hot summer months until you can’t take it anymore. Now come back to (hopefully better) reality. Your weekday will feel much better.

Get into Legal Trouble
This is a risky technique but very effective. Get yourself into situation where someone may sue you for everything you got. The trick is to not actually get sued but just the stress and anxiety. Maybe blow your money gambling and risk losing your house on a foreclosure. Max out 10 credit card or take out that third mortgage on your house and start day trading small cap stocks. Pretend you just robbed a bank and your face just came up on 6’o clock news. Screw your friends and family and now the whole world knows what a jerk you are. These things will quickly help you sprint back to appreciate the "normal" life as you knew it. Cycling will feel like a cherry topping.

Get Hurt
Nothing bums out cyclist more than getting hurt or ill. Road rash, broken bones, tendonitis, cancer, physical abuse, addiction… These all puts cycling into perspective and help cure IMBS. Appreciate your health and enjoy the ride. Having an option make a living off the bike is a good thing.

Watch Depressing Documentaries
...bicycling is a privilege not an entitlement. You should feel lucky to have that boring day job to go to every Monday.
Watch documentaries on very depressing topics. They include starving people in Africa, any war where thousands of innocent people die for no reasons, war on drugs, homeless epidemic, child abuse, genocide, Barney Madoff, global warming, unjust humanity… the list is long. Take a weekend and watch as much as possible in a quiet place. You will soon realize that bicycling is a privilege not an entitlement. You should feel lucky to have that boring day job to go to every Monday.

Quit That Day Job
A common source of IMBS is the fact that many cyclists have to endure long 40 hrs of cubical hours or whatever for a paycheck. After all, if it was not for the money, how many would continue with the current job? IMBS cyclists feel that their "job" is really holding them back from living "the life". If so, then quit. Stop whining about your boring job, nutty boss and office politics. Quit that job like a man (or woman) and pedal head on into your dreams. It may work out for you and you may never look back. At least you will have tried your best and know that you gave it a shot. Want to open up a bike shop? Do it. Take out that third house mortgage and start that cool bike shop. Want to pursue your passion to become a professional cyclist? Go train 30 hrs a week. Want to ride across America? Want to win that district championship? If you have the guts to truly follow your passion, go for it and stop feeling sorry for yourself. Just don’t screw other people on the way. Most of all, be prepared to accept the consequence if things don’t work out as dreamed. One way or the other, IMBS will be thing of the past.


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