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Excuses Excuses

Any competitive cyclist knows that the most important thing to prepare before a competition is a good excuse or two. It doesn’t matter if competition is Wednesday night training ride or world championship, everyone needs a good excuse. Here are some you can use for every day use.

You talked big before the race but then you sucked at the race.
  1. Everyone was racing so negative... I can't believe we didn't catch that 30 person breakaway.
  2. I sacrificed for you guys.
  3. It felt like my brakes were rubbing. I better check my bike. Dang it!
You chased down your own teammate in a race.
  1. He was going to get caught anyways.
  2. I was trying to bridge up. Was everyone sitting on my wheel?
  3. She wasn't our designated girl today anyways. We have to stick to the plan.
You held back and rode for yourself in a race instead of helping out a stronger teammate.
  1. I wanted to save for final sprint to break top 35 (out of 50).
  2. I need to get upgrade points.
  3. I was really tired guys. I had to sit in but then I felt great at the end. It was weird.
You quit during a race for no good reason.
  1. What's the point. I'm not going to win anyways.
  2. I was suddenly overwhelmed by emotions of my dog that passed away last year.
  3. I had a flat and had to wait for the wheel car. Really.
You caused a crash.
  1. Did you see that huge lugy that dude blew out at me?
  2. I don't know... my front wheel just slid out.
  3. Everyone was so squirly, I had to swerve everywhere.
You don’t want to start tomorrow's race once into a multi-day stage race.
  1. I found Jesus during today's race and I have to go to church tomorrow.
  2. Saddle sore guys. Can't do it.
  3. I think I am getting sick. I better not push it.
  4. My left knee looks bigger than the right one. Something is not right.
You don’t want to go to a race you signed up.
  1. I need to rest. I'm coming off of a huge training block.
  2. Can't go guys. Honey Do's.
  3. Was that race today? Oh-mi-gosh. I can't believe I missed it.
You are consistently getting dropped by group ride or race.
  1. I was riding tempo.
  2. Just let the break go away. I was riding with the peleton off the back.
  3. I am racing into shape. I'll be ready in 2 months.
You can’t keep up on a hill.
  1. I was doing slow cadence power workout on that hill.
  2. I was sick and gained like 3 whole pounds.
  3. Do you think I should chuck my bottles before the hill?
  4. I started at the back and guys in front of me opened up a huge gap. Can't stand these dummies.
You never win a sprint.
  1. Sprints are so dangerous... I just sat up and watched.
  2. I'm a climber. I'm never going to win a sprint anyways.
  3. I was blocked out like last time. Otherwise, I was going to win.
You stink at criterium race.
  1. Criteriums are just a 10 second race. Who cares about a crit.
  2. I wasn't warmed up and got dropped on the 2nd lap.
  3. My bike just doesn't corner well. I need a crit bike.
You stink at a time trial race.
  1. I forgot my shoe cover. I mean that's worth at least 2 minutes right there.
  2. I need a time trial bike.
  3. I was saving for tomorrow's race.
You are way late for an appointment from a ride
  1. Honey, I'm almost home. How far? Oh, about 25 miles away. I'll be home in 30 min.
  2. I followed these dorks and they got lost.
  3. We were all waiting for you know who all day. We were going soooo slow.

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